The Secret of Success
As some of you know, our youngest son Temo has been playing football since he was a toddler. He’s worked hard in rain, sleet, and snow and now in blazing heat. I’m not one of those pushy parents who stands at the sidelines and shouts at their kid, or who forces them to train. I go to every training session and watch, listen to what his coaches tell him and reinforce their messages, saying, “If you want to be able to do ‘x’ you have to develop ‘y’.” He and his coaches are responsible for deciding how hard he works. I’ll support him, but I won’t pressure or cajole him.
Recently, he played three matches with Faouzi Ghoulam, the former captain of Napoli and an Algeria international, and was lucky enough to be able to interview Faouzi after one of the matches. Faouzi has played at the very top level of football for most of his career. He knows exactly what it takes.
“Work harder, work harder, work harder.”
It’s a simple message, but it masks some complexity. Temo is one of a few players of his age who can link Maradona 7’s, a close control exercise that sends the ball up and around his body. One of the coaches he works with was impressed, but said, “Right, now I want you to practice doing them in a 2-metre square and then make that square smaller as you get better.”
No matter how good a player gets, there is always scope for improvement. The work never ends, and to truly test the limits of one’s capabilities, to push through the pain, to keep engaged when most other people would give up, the desire must come from within.
The same is true of writing. When people ask me about becoming a professional author, I always say, “If you can do anything else, do that instead.”
When you’re starting out, writing is a thankless task. No one is asking to read your words. You’re thrusting yourself into a world that doesn’t have a ‘you’ shaped space in the market. You are guaranteed to get rejected and criticized. And your chances of becoming a professional author are statistically similar to the chances of becoming a professional footballer. There are millions of children who dream of playing pro football and millions of people who aspire to write.
I mentioned this in my first video. The love of the thing is enough. Even when he’s done one of his grueling lower body workouts, Temo’s love shines through. He’s never wavered from football because it’s his passion. The doing of the thing is its own reward. I can say the same about writing. I love it, which is dangerous because it has turned me into something of a workaholic. I make a conscious effort to switch off and spend time doing other things I enjoy with people I like or love.
It takes 10 to 15 years to develop a player to the start of their professional career. It can take just as long to develop a professional writing career. The internal desire is what keeps people consistently focused on their goal through good times and bad.
Is there any point to playing football or writing if you’re not aiming to become a professional? Of course. When I talk to aspiring authors, I always point out the mental health benefits of writing. Creativity is an essential part of being human, and writing can help people better understand themselves and their lives. It can also help develop parts of the brain that enable people to solve problems.
Football is also its own reward, whatever your level. I used to play for two London social teams, the Mavericks and Athletico Splendide. Yes, someone thought that was a good name. Both teams were terrible, but the fun, laughs and fitness boost more than made up for the humiliating scorelines. The doing of the thing is its own success, and there’s no need to go through the kind of hard work and discipline Faouzi Ghoulam talks about if you just want to have fun and develop some aspect of yourself.
There’s reward in doing any sporting or creative endeavour at any level, but if the measure of your success is external and related to getting as close as you can to the top of your field, the drive and ambition must come from within, the love of the thing you’re doing has to be its own reward, and you need to be prepared to work harder, work harder, work harder.
I’m fascinated by top-flight talent in any field because of what it takes to get there. Shi Heng Yi, the founder of the Shaolin Temple in Europe, has an interesting perspective on why true greatness is so rare. He says few people can take an honest look in the mirror and truly confront themselves. It’s easier to mask the truth with excuses, distortions or distractions.
To reach the top of any field, you have to confront your weaknesses and know yourself in ways that can be challenging and uncomfortable. Like mountaineering, rock climbing or any extreme sport, which also push people far beyond their comfort zone, setting a target that takes you beyond the boundaries of normal life reveals some new truth about yourself or the world, and I’m inspired by anyone who has the courage and discipline to step over the barriers. That’s why people like Faouzi desire some attention. They’ve been on a journey few can understand, but which everyone can learn from.
Until next time, wishing you and yours the very best
Adam